Texts From Last Night

[twotailedgenius]

Texts From Last Night

You know the drill.

It's past midnight somewhere

Comments

Ranka Lee | Macross Frontier

[nyan_nyan]

1. There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.

2. Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.

3. you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out

1

[demonbloodblade]

Someone broke in while I was trying to make a chlii con queso omlette. I blinded him with the cheese, then beat the hell out of him and tossed him out the windows. I don't think he's still there, but the bastard ruined by breakfast.

[nyan_nyan]

That's enough excitement for a month.

Florina | Fire Emblem 7

[shy_flier]

1. VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS

2. Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?

3. so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside

1

[heart_throb]

Er... you okay there? Maybe you should slow down on that...

[shy_flier]

its been so long

Junko Kaname | Madoka Magica

[drinkingmama]

1. I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

2. so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside

3. I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

4. No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

Sayori | Doki Doki Literature Club

[bestfriendroute]

1. Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.

2. I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position

3. My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money

Monika | Doki Doki Literature Club

[bonusroute]

1. She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.

2. I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.

3. she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him

Hisao Nakai | Katawa Shoujo

[heart_throb]

1. Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea.

2. i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?

3. You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran

4. (Wildcard! Make your own TFLN!)

1

[timetogetdown]

Shirt or no shirt?

[heart_throb]

Shirt, of course. I can't go walking out with nothing but boxers.

Cornelia li Britannia | Code Geass

[knightmare_princess]

1. I currently don't understand fingers.

2. You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.

3. Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?

4. My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.

1

[irovedout]

Fingers are a social construct we all need to wake up from.

:3

[shesgotguts]

because im the newly elected king of the arts and crafts club lmao

theres one in your freezer too but that one is taped ♥

Cinderella von Umberwolf | I roved out in search of truth and love

[irovedout]

1: Just woke up with only a scarf and my boots on. i hate partying naked in winter.
2: It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations.
3: just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
4: We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
5: [Or text her!]

Andromeda (Andi) | OC

[andromedroid]

1: They were high and the scary movies were scaring them too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
2: Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my synthetic ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
3: was i holding a cat when you saw me? because that was the height of that party for me
4: when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with game controllers in their hands.
5: [Or text her!]

4.

[rosecoloredgrasses]

Oh dear. I'll be over in a moment to help you put them to bed.

Who was winning the game?

Courtney "King" Barker | OC

[silentmonarch]

1: Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
2: Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
3: last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
4: I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
5: [Or text her!]

3.

[nor_iron_bars]

you say ruined, i say enhanced. how do you feel about mulan?

1

[demonbloodblade]

That sounds like the best plan.

[demonbloodblade]

1. I currently don't understand fingers.

2. I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me

3. let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.

4. So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?

5. [Text her]

2

[fistsofchange]

That explains all the hair in the fondue pot, at least.

Sonic the Hedgehog | Sonic game series

[mach_n_roll]

1. I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

2. DUDE YOU CAN'T LIKE A STATUS ABOUT ME GETTING HIT BY A CAR

3. I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to

2

[demonbloodblade]

It's not the getting hit, it's the living through it that is liked.